Information needed

Hi all,
This is my first entry and I am pleased to find this sort of site out around thank you. I need information and some ideas to help with my 40 year old husband and our family. I feel so lost and alone out here and very confused. I meet my husband when he was 29 and he was a very quiet man, kept to himself, lacked self estem and confidence, had a strange sense of ideas at times but very gentle and loving. As a child he never really made friends easy and did not like school much as he found it boring but was very smart, his mother tells me that once he found book he was fine and would read everything to find out what he could. he is a very smart man good with numbers and loves the internet to find out all he can, he holds a job at the moment as a roster person and has developed pc programs for his role. Once we had our boys I could see changes, lack of sleep he became more and more vague and not being able to make choices and more into him self. he would life for him pc and phone and be on them all the time even if the baby was crying. He now have more time being vague and now aggressive, he thinks he says things but he might think it but never makes it out his mouth. he takes risks that endanger our boys, he cant hold our sons who is 5 and likes to run aways hand, he has lost him so many times at the shops will go and pay for items take them to the car and then return later to find him rather then just finding him. he takes risks that are now more and more often and way out of some ones thinking at times. he wont talk happy to be on the pc or iphone world. he cant stand up for himself, he lets people walk over him and trust all. my gp sent him to a specialist to see if there was anything wrong with his brain all came back clear, he went to the uni for testing they talked about depression and he is now convinced that is what it is, however that is marksing all the other things. our gp believes that he has ASD but is trying to search help for us here to no success at the moment. we live in townsville and the support groups only seem to be for children. Where to what do we do and how do we as a family get help. We have developed routines for my husband to function with that he has been apart of this will work for a few days then he changes it and can not find his way back to task. he is like a child walking around in a mans body, i just fear what can happen with him caring for my sons so i try to not let the younger one go out as he is displaying bad behaviour and will cause more problems. he is a lovely gentleman but when he flips i fear what can happen. Please is there anything that i can do to find out ways to improve our life. anyone know of places to go to in townsville for help. He goes to toastmasters weekly and church weekly and still can not make friends, however i have been told that when he goes to toastmaster he is like a different person happy and full of life and fun. he just never seems to be having fun of late.
please help