A little bit about me

Hello. My name is William and I am 25 years old and I have asperger syndrome, However I have never been officially been diagnosed.

I was born in the usual. I have always lived with my family. As a child I moved house a lot, So it was difficult making friends (That having aspergers), so I was never in one place long enough to make any friends.

I went through primary school and secondary school, But I found that tough. At one school I didn't even talk to anybody. at another school everyone thought I was strange. I was bullied by the same boy for 6 years. I also got into fights and I had a really bad temper. My principal there even said that i need medication. That never happened. To this day I have never been on medication.

High school was the same. I went to an all boys school. There I had the same problems. I moved to a co-ed high school three years later. I did good there for a while, then everything went downhill from there.

I decided to leave that school after 2 years, against my guardians wishes and do something else. I didn't find anything so I west back and did music for a year. I didn't complete that. The following year I went to an art program and made a short film there. After that I went to tafe and did some computer courses. I passed both of them.

I'm still at tafe to this day. I am currently doing a course to help me get into the workforce, something I have always struggled with.

I have never had a girlfriend. Most of the girls I went to school with thought I was weird. I tried online dating but I quit after a month because I was getting a lot of rejections, and the woman that was giving me advice via e-mail turned on me. Now I have lost all hope of finding a girlfriend because I think that all the girls think i'm ugly and if they got to know me they would think i'm a weirdo and break up with me, which is something I wouldn't be able to deal with. I even look in the mirror and think of myself as being ugly.

I have always struggled with making friends. I naver really had any friends growing up. I finally found some friends in 2006 when I went to aspergers group meeting. Two years later I had to drop one of those friends because he was a hypocrite, the type of people I dislike, and he was always telling me what to do and looked down on people who weren't like him, and he always told to do things that he wouldn't or didn't do.

Soon after that I met someone at tafe who also had aspergers. He was extraordinarily difficult to deal with. He was a sociopath, sychopath and was constantly paranoid, had a short temper and didn't like how I did things. I let him go after a year for these reasons, and because he was mean to me over the phone after drinking too much. People tried to get us to be friends again, But I wanted nothing to do with him anymore. He is now gone, and I have no regrets.

When I got into the course i'm in now, I made a couple of friends, But one of them was a little annoying, and the other one would lose his temper over nothing. I tried to get help with this, but the teachers didn't seem to care.

the following year I changed classes and had some different people in my class, Some I knew and some I didn't know. One of them befriended me just to force me to follow his football team (he is obsessed with football) buy a membership which I never ended up using, Spend my money to fund his expensive lifestyle, even though he had his own but reckoned he couldn't use it, and my digital camera to take pictures of him with players at training session I didn't really want to go to anyway, and to use my place to watch digital television, and use the internet, Because he doesn't have these things at his place.

As a result he owes my a bit of money, which he has promised to pay back for months but so far has used every excuse in the book to get out of it. Because of this, and becuase I didn't use my membership, he treats me like rubbish and the my teacher refuses to take action to stop. This teacher reckons there is nothing they can do to stop him. Because of this i'm more miserable and depressed than ever before. I feel as if I want to die, and I also feel as if I want to kill him, But I know that is the wrong thing to do.

So i'm currently wondering what to do about my situation. If anybody has any questions, can offer advice or wants to know more, feel free to e-mail me if you can.