to diagnose or not to diagnose

My 9 year old has recently been given a suspected diagnosis of autism but with more aspergers traits. Because he has a severe language disorder the autism was diagnosed. He is unaware of this diagnosis as l have chosen not to tell him. He is yet to feel any different from other children apart from his language disorder. As he is nine, he showed no autistic tendencies on the autism test that was done but l was told that was because the test is aimed at younger children (?) but did show some signs on the aspergers test.( if he were to be re tested for the language he would pass and no longer be eligible for funding) He knows he has a language disorder. Im having difficulty not in accepting the diagnosis but officailly accepting the diagnosis. What l mean is, alot of extremes of both autism and aspergers dont relate to my child. He's not inflexible with his thoughts and actions, he sleeps well, he can be a fussy eater but at 9 most of us were but l can convince him to try it. His language difficulties just mean he has difficulty expressing himself but has no speech impairment. He shows empathy and is a very loving boy to everyone, doesnt mind being touched/held, is inquisitive about certain things but not fixated. Is not shy or introverted around others, he is happy to play on his own as well as with others. I guess l can make excuses for all of his behaviours but the thing that gets me is he's not inflexible(i mean no disrespect to anyone on the spectrum)or fixated or rude ( a syptom of someone lacking social skills) Because the spectrum is so wide and varied, how can you be sure that a diagnosis is the best thing for him. I dont believe the asperger/autism greatly impairs him and l believe there are other ways to help him. I find talking to him and explaining things to him help alot and he responds to that. His main difficulty l think is if l said to him (in general about anything)well what do you think and what should we do? He would struggle to answer and l would need to suggest things to him.
I just dont want a label put on him and having that as an excuse for not putting in his all. Or an excuse for others when dealing with him. 'Oh its because he's autistic, he cant do that' or because he's autistic he doesnt have to do that.
I beleive my kids need to know yes everyone is different ans we should accept everyone for who they are and the choices they make without being told this is what you are and you fit in this box.
Im not trying to convince anyone else of my sons lack of autistic tendencies, l guess lm just asking do l have anybody who agrees with me that l should not officially diagnose him and look at other ways of dealing wiht his indiviuality?